Saturday 23 May 2015

Humans of Delhi Metro

A professor once told us to write an assignment on behaviour of people at a public place. So, what better place than the Delhi Metro? I observed the people for a couple of days during my journey from Vishwavidyalaya to Malviya Nagar. The multitude of people is simply breath-taking. Delhi Metro can be rightly called the melting pot of diversity. So, here is the list of phenotypically and maybe genetically different humans of Delhi Metro.

1) The Ishtud Bwoy – He can be seen with a pair of sunglasses inside the metro, happily staring at women, who he thinks do not get to know. The reason why these cool dudes wear sunglasses is still unknown since the lighting inside the metro isn’t that bright.

2) Papa I want to become a Pole Dancer kids – These 5-6 year old cute kids are usually seen accompanied by embarrassed parents. They have the ability to entertain the whole coach with their pole dancing skills.

3) The sweaty aunties – The badass of the Metro. They can be found on every reserved seat, and the seat next to it, and the seat next to that. The amount of sweat they produce can even put Rahul Dravid (batting during hot climatic conditions) to shame.

4) The couples – They are usually found on the left hand side door. They forget the world around them and continue to romance until and unless Central Secretariat comes, because they have to move aside as the door unfortunately (for them) opens on the left.

5) The Jawed Habib guy – He is usually found setting his hair throughout the journey, failing to notice that the powerful AC wind will not let him set his hair in peace.

6) The Thin guy – Because of his great adjusting skills, he’s usually found squeezed between two co-passengers.

7) The Mistaken Opportunist guy – He is usually seen sitting on a reserved seat. He is often told to get up indirectly, i.e. Girl sees “For Ladies Only” then looks at him, then looks again at the notice, only to see that the guy has vacated the place for her even before she looks down.

8) The “Ninni” aa rahi hai girl – She is usually on phone during the whole journey, and continuously lets her phone-wala friend know that she wants to sleep but in vain, since her phone-wala friend simply ignores.

9) I need to reach the high score now Person – He/She is usually seen playing Temple Run/Subway Surfer continuously. I have seen people playing a single game for the whole 45 mins of journey.

10) I need to clear level 67183263 on Candy Crush Saga right now person – He/She ends up clearing level 78345689 by the time he/she has to leave, and has probably sent even more invites to his/her Facebook friends.

11) Stare-Master – He is usually seen sitting/standing exactly between Coach 1 and 2 so that he can stare at the girls inside Coach 1.


12) Main Banunga Anu Malik guy – He is usually seen humming a tune or two proving why he was rejected at Indian Idol auditions.

More to be added soon! Obviously, normal people (the ones reading something, listening to music, or simply sitting) have been ignored for this article.

1 comment: