Humans of Delhi Metro

A professor once told us to write an assignment on behaviour of people at a public place. So, what better place than the Delhi Metro? I observed the people for a couple of days during my journey from Vishwavidyalaya to Malviya Nagar. The multitude of people is simply breath-taking. Delhi Metro can be rightly called the melting pot of diversity. So, here is the list of phenotypically and maybe genetically different humans of Delhi Metro.

1) The Ishtud Bwoy – He can be seen with a pair of sunglasses inside the metro, happily staring at women, who he thinks do not get to know. The reason why these cool dudes wear sunglasses is still unknown since the lighting inside the metro isn’t that bright.

2) Papa I want to become a Pole Dancer kids – These 5-6 year old cute kids are usually seen accompanied by embarrassed parents. They have the ability to entertain the whole coach with their pole dancing skills.

3) The sweaty aunties – The badass of the Metro. They can be found on every reserved seat, and the seat next to it, and the seat next to that. The amount of sweat they produce can even put Rahul Dravid (batting during hot climatic conditions) to shame.

4) The couples – They are usually found on the left hand side door. They forget the world around them and continue to romance until and unless Central Secretariat comes, because they have to move aside as the door unfortunately (for them) opens on the left.

5) The Jawed Habib guy – He is usually found setting his hair throughout the journey, failing to notice that the powerful AC wind will not let him set his hair in peace.

6) The Thin guy – Because of his great adjusting skills, he’s usually found squeezed between two co-passengers.

7) The Mistaken Opportunist guy – He is usually seen sitting on a reserved seat. He is often told to get up indirectly, i.e. Girl sees “For Ladies Only” then looks at him, then looks again at the notice, only to see that the guy has vacated the place for her even before she looks down.

8) The “Ninni” aa rahi hai girl – She is usually on phone during the whole journey, and continuously lets her phone-wala friend know that she wants to sleep but in vain, since her phone-wala friend simply ignores.

9) I need to reach the high score now Person – He/She is usually seen playing Temple Run/Subway Surfer continuously. I have seen people playing a single game for the whole 45 mins of journey.

10) I need to clear level 67183263 on Candy Crush Saga right now person – He/She ends up clearing level 78345689 by the time he/she has to leave, and has probably sent even more invites to his/her Facebook friends.

11) Stare-Master – He is usually seen sitting/standing exactly between Coach 1 and 2 so that he can stare at the girls inside Coach 1.

12) Main Banunga Anu Malik guy – He is usually seen humming a tune or two proving why he was rejected at Indian Idol auditions.

More to be added soon! Obviously, normal people (the ones reading something, listening to music, or simply sitting) have been ignored for this article.

Despondent Final Year

It was during this field-trip to Udaipur during March 2014. I, with my classmates was doing an anthropological research on a Camel Herder Caste called Rebaris in a village called Rebariyon Ka Gurha. These Rebaris don’t have cow/buffalo meat, because they provide them with employment and fuel (milk is sold in the city, dung is used as a fuel etc). Each household, on the left hand side of their entrance had a cow shed, which consisted of 3-4 buffaloes. So, while interviewing them, I asked what all non-veg products they had, to which they answered that they had chicken and mutton only. Just as an example, I took a classmate’s name and told them that he eats everything, not going into any kind of details. This talk happened in a very joyful manner. And after some more questions, we called it a day. Everyone was happy that the day ended eventfully, with everyone getting more insights into the lives of the Rebaris since we ultimately had to write a 100+ page dissertation on the Rebaris to get our Bachelor’s degree.

While waiting for our Tata Magic, this classmate wildly appears from no-where and slaps me tightly in the middle of the crowd. I being shell shocked couldn’t even react. Two-Three students tried to control his anger, but he continued to threaten me. He didn’t even mention why he slapped me in front of everyone. Then I heard a classmate telling another that I had told the villagers that he ate beef and they shouldn’t talk to him. No one even had the guts to ask me whether the things about which people were murmuring were true or not. Everyone had their own theories to “justify” his slap. A classmate finally gathered up the courage and asked me, if it was true or not. I couldn’t answer her since I was so shell shocked.  Meanwhile, some drops of tears trickled down my cheeks.

For the whole 2-3 km journey I was silent. I didn't speak to anyone. I went to my room and cried my hearts out, thinking about the existence of such inhumane people. That evening, none of my classmates tried to console me. Indirectly, except a few, everyone was accusing me of creating such a scene.

Finally our teacher came in to the rescue, and told that a meeting would be held after dinner. She told me, that such thing shouldn’t have happened, and what he did was totally wrong. She consoled me while herself looking and sounding lugubrious.

A friend (was a very good friend before the incident), who had been my classmate since school, along with her extremely selfish best friend also talked behind my back (which I heard and the fact’s still unknown to them). They were accusing me of working against the spirit of anthropology even without asking me what had actually happened. These types of small incidents, which occur immediately after big incidents, often create a sense of despondency and desolation.

I was hoping for some amount of justice during the night session but in vain. From bad, the situation became worse. The time when the whole class goes against a person cannot be described in mere words.

The extent up-to which I tried to help everyone during the two years of being a Class Representative all went down the drain that very night. People started accusing me of harassing them (Really?? Do I actually look like I can harass someone?) . They wanted me to apologize for what I did. Never did I know that people could actually stoop so low? Instead of calming a depressed soul, one was continuously attacking him? I never understood why there was such a ruthless behaviour against a classmate who was just slapped because of no reason?

All boys except two (one of them was of course me) in my room used to drink all night. Just name the liquor and they had had it. I tried to adjust, but still, the smell of liquor used to disgust me, and I couldn’t sleep, which hampered the way I worked in the research field.

That night, I was also accused of being not able to adjust to such a scenario. Having non-veg every day was equated to having alcohol every day. Such analogous examples were given to subdue my hope for justice. Everyone started to find faults in me (everyone has faults, but that many which I was subjected to? I could never believe.)

A caring friend who was extremely angered by what was happening left the place by slamming the door. I couldn’t believe what actually happened that day. I was accused now and then for things which I never did. Everyone tried to go with the flow. Everyone was making hay while the sun was shining.

My dear teacher was trying to take my side every time, but for each time she tried to save me, new allegations tried to crop up.

Why was I subjected to such callousness? Was it just because I didn’t drink and smoke and hence can’t socialise with drunkards? Or was it because the person who slapped me had filled everyone’s stomach with branded liquor? I think both.

Thanks for calumniating me in every way possible. I hope you wretched souls get disgraced someday heavily.